In December, we sold our house. This left me with the question of where to go, what to do? I decided to quite my job and move to Richmond, VA to live with my cousin, Michelle and her family. She has been a strong Christian support since the beginning of this whole thing. She has been committed to pray for me, pray with me, fast with me, be a listening ear, and the list goes on and on. So i thought, "Hey, why not!" My time there was precious. Hard is ways because i didnt think through the details that go into a move. But wonderful. I met some great friends. I baby sat for a Indian family. They were Hindus, of the Jain sect. I had may wonderful God moments with this little boy: Here are a few and the timeline of events in blurbs:
Rehaan. One day Rehaan and I were in his kitchen. I think I was sing a song about God (to myself without noticing), Rehaan (3 1/2 yrs old) looks at my and says, "that god?" pointing to the temple his parents had created in their living room. I said, "no, I dont believe in that god. I believe in the Real God in Heaven" (i probably could have answered this better) He looks at me and says "Heaven?" and I said "yea, way up in the sky, up really high above the clouds" He said "oh..."
Later in the week we were listening to a song off a Shane and Shane cd. Rehaan called it the fastest song. We listened to it everyday for weeks. One day It started to rain and Rehaan said "Oh no its raining" and I said "Thank you God for the rain, see God is cleaning my car!" Because my window sheild has all the ice salt from the road on it. Rehaan perks up and says "the God in Heaven?" and I said "yes the God in Heaven." "oh...thank you God" he said.
This little boy loved music. So I asked for my cousin to give me more child appropriate music for him to listen to. I love listening to Christian music in my car but i wanted to make it kid friendly. So She gav me this Noah's ark cd. It came with a book and told the story of Noah. Then it had related music. We loved the Arky Arky song. Rehaan loved this music so i went to the dollar store and picked up David and Goliath, Samson and Deliah, Adam and Eve, and Jonah and the Whale.
Over time we had so much fun learning about Jesus and listening to these stories. One of Rehaan's favorite songs were "Jesus loves the little children, Red, Yellow, Black and White" I remember him listening to this song and he paused and said "Ms Dana, Jesus loves me?" I said "Oh yes Rehaan Jesus loves you VERY much." It is so amazing how our hearts and minds can understand and desire Jesus from such a young age! I loved this conclusion!
The last week of me being there Rehaan was on Spring Break which meant his schedule was off. We were at home for 8 hours a day and he was missing mom and dad. Dad was on a work trip and mom had to go to work. This week was great and rough. lol. One morning, Rehaan was eatting his breakfast and decided he didnt really want to eat much. So we started to play a game with it. This bite is for..."mom" good bite! This bite is for..."Dad"...Good bite!...etc. His mom slide out the door. Last two bites were taken and then Rehaan wanted to tell mommy about them and show her. I told him that she left to go to work and that we could call her. NO! this was not ok...he want her there now. I could not console him. I couldn't bring her back, so i just prayed out loud. "Lord Jesus, Please comfort this child..." Again, pause. "Jesus?" he said. "yea". We talked for a little bit. I told him that we were going out and if he could be a good Big boy and not cry we would get a treat. We went and picked up a stuffed bunny. He called it "Hoppy Easter" He LOVED this bunny. We laid down for a nap and he lost it again. I told him that his bunny was a no cry bunny...his bunny can't see him cry. He dried up and told me to come back in with his bunny. So i left and came back in and all was well!
The next day or two days letter we went to swim class and met mom for lunch. We were ALL excited to be doing something different. We of course mom, nor I thought about leaving and how that would be disaster. Rehaan had a melt down. So loud, I just turned up the music and let him cry it out. Of course, after I tried to console him for a little bit - which didnt work. So I am listening to music driving us home and he says "Ms. Dana?" "yea Rehaan?" "Will you pray to Jesus so I feel better?" "YES! Of course I will pray to Jesus so you feel better!" Aww my little heart melted...what wisdom! We prayed. Afterwards I told Rehaan that Jesus is always there and that he could pray to him any time. Whenever he was lonely, sad, scared, happy...anytime. I told him he just has to talk to him. He said ok!
I left Richmond, My time there was spent with this precious child. Meeting new people. Praying for Chris alot and sharing my story with other married and divorced women. Sharing about God's faithfulness.
I came back to Columbia, SC and moved in with a friend from college. Life back here has been great. I was jobless for a few months. After about two weeks I was ready to be a working women again! I finally got a job as a Strategic Assistant with an Economic Consulting Firm. I love it. Its nice to have a job that you enjoy and a boss and co-workers that are easy to work with.
The last few months have been harder with wondering where I stand with Chris. Everything I from him is telling me that he is ready for this part of his life to be over and for our divorce to be final. Honestly I have gotten to the point after this year and a half where I too am ready for a decision to be made. Married to Chris or moving on. Either way I know God is good and He has my life in his hands. I think alot about the what ifs. Some good thoughts some bad. My focus and eyes sometimes gets put toward this world. I get distracted and lose sight of the ONE who is carrying me.
I desire to be loved, to be pursued lately. I have heard God speak to me very directly and say "But I am pursuing you" And OH How He is! Truly. Every time I get in the car He puts this song on that makes me know He is thinking of me and my situation. Everytime I start to wander he puts someone in my life to encourage me through words, song, chat, scripture, etc. Its amazing.
So we have a few more months. Not sure what will happen. I am guessing we will finalize it at that point. But God can do miracles. And I think that is what it will take. Even if we never reconcile, that doesnt mean that God doesnt have something better out of this tragedy. I know God can make my story Beautiful! I am just going to lift my hands! Because that is all I can do! Regardless of the outcome...He is faithful.
2 comments:
Dana, thank you so much for sharing. I was wondering how you are doing and have been praying for you. Thank you for your openness and vulnerability. The little boy you watched was definetly blessed to have you there and God IS working through you even in these hard times. I am so proud of you for staying real and true to Jesus and others. Again, I'm praying for you!
Love you Dana! I really enjoyed reading your stories of the little boy you watched.
Thanks for coming and hanging out the other day (and eating crappy chinese food =)) We'll have to do it again and this time eat some good stuff!
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